i took the dog to a park that has a pond. he now swims to fetch sticks. the first couple of times he went in i kept the lease on him in case i had to drag him out like a lobster fisherman.

now he jumps in on his own.

yes… yes…, i know most of you lead much more interesting lives so you have no time to fawn over wet animals. but, to me, this is a big deal.

given my background and personality, i shouldn’t have a dog. and even if i did, it should be one of those tiny, neurotic, yippy dogs named ‘chantal’ or ‘alexandra’.

i somehow ended up with a cool dog.

(thanks, ray-ray.)


lil’ TT update

February 13 2008


there has been a boatload of emails asking how lil’ TT is doing in her new home.

to be honest, once i handed her over to mrs. e, i didn’t look back.

but my sister doesn’t have the willpower i do. so she had to know how the puppy was doing.

this is her email report to me:

I broke down and called Ms. E today. She seemed fine..neither happy nor sad to hear from me. I told her who I was and said I just wanted to know how it was going. She said, “we have a biting phase we have to get through”.I thought, “ut-oh”.
She said the dog has bit her a few times and has drawn blood.
She said they have a talk everyday about who is really in charge! I said, “I hope you are happy that you got her.” She kept saying, “we have to get through this biting phase”.
She also said that she started “puppy school” last week and that the puppy has already learned how to “Sit”. They are working on “down” now. She said that T.T. was hiding behind her legs the whole time…and finally started to try and play with the other pups once the class was over..she said she was much smaller than the other puppies.
She said that she took her to the vet to get her rabies shot and that it went well…and she now weighs 5 lbs. She said that she tries to bite her other dog Sugar and that Sugar snaps (but doesn’t bite her) and that the puppy will run to hide under the bed…all the while whimpering/crying and when the lady looks under the bed for the puppy she is there holding up her little foot…trying to get attention.
I said she is a little drama queen. She said “yes that is what i call her” and I said, “oh yeah, what is her name now?” and she said, “Muffin” but that her husband calls her “Banana Nut”.
I asked if she likes to cuddle and she said “No” but that she always wants to be around people…she will follow the lady or the husband from room to room but doesn’t want to be picked up and cuddled….the puppy does climb onto the sofa and lay on their laps or lays next to them…but it is more on her terms. She said her other eskies were the same way at times.
At one point I said, “Well I hope you love her”…and she said, “Oh yeah I do…she is so sweet BUT we have to get through this biting phase”. She then went on to say that maybe it is bc she was the runt and the runts always have to fight for what they have.
I told her good luck and that I hope everything went well and that I hope puppy school would help with her manners.

so the dog went from being ‘letitia’ to ‘muffin’.

i don’t know about you, but i find that hilarious.

banana nut muffin ?!?


good luck, muffin.


a $250,000 rothko ?

February 11 2008


would you believe this is the latest rothko painting up for auction at sotheby’s?

…ok, it not.

but i only got this shot by agreeing to spend $250,000.00. so it’s just a bit behind the current prices fetched for similarly derivative modern art.

to me, these are more important and stress-inducing than owning an uninsured rothko during hurricane season.

the excavator didn’t show up to finish the dig for the garage addition i’m putting onto the house. so the huge hole in my backyard has just been a poo pad for the dog. after a week of taking the dog out in the morning, i’m very familair with every nook and cranny of this hole.

so i decided to harness my nervous energy towards a creative exercise and document the dig.

to defray the compounding interest of the construction loan while i wait for the fucking excavator to get out on bail and finish his job, i’m open to selling prints of my abstract expressionism.

here’s another one:


here’s the hole when not using the telephoto lens:


instead of shooting pictures, i should just shoot myself…

… $250,000…



math makes me sleepy.

insomnia has been my bed partner for 15 years. she’s a bitch. but i’m used to having her around by this point. besides rozerem, one sure thing to drain her power over me is math.

looking at a spreadsheet or a financial report is an instant yawn inducer. i’d rather have a root canal surgery than do a page of calculus problems.

this is just to say i am no judge of the economic indicators of whether the US is in recession or not. rumor has it that we are.

today i got practical evidence that the gloomy economists are right.

the chair i won on ebay came today by UPS.

no one bid against me on the item. so i got a $600 chair for $130. that is my first clue.

then the seller decided he didn’t want to spend money on packaging. that is the second clue. the fucker just taped the chair in a layer of bubble wrap (one layer, i want to note.) and slapped a shipping label on the seat.

but here’s the main reason i know times are hard.

UPS accepted the chair for shipping!

The UPS store clerk must have been so happy to have any customer he didn’t laugh the seller out of the store for his half-assed wrapping. the clerk just smiled, said ‘thank you, sir. PLEASE come again.’ and accepted the chair.

oh, brother.


les poppys

February 7 2008

les poppys

sometimes i think i should have taken french in high school instead of spanish.

but i wanted an easy ‘A’.
(mi tita hablaba español y vivio con nosotros haste que tuve cinco años.)

oh well, ‘c’est la vie‘.

happy mardi gras

February 5 2008


happy mardi gras, y’all.

today’s super tuesday primary elections have knocked the yearly carnival bacchanalia off the front page.

but as you sit watching the results on CNN tonight, raise your wine glass to toast your brothers and sisters in new orleans who are celebrating this political season in the most appropriate way possible…

…drunk and partially nude.


a million thanks to Brian Postelle, Mountain Xpress, for the mention of my little writing exercise, distort the info.

to answer Brian’s question, i am a he, unless my home equity loan and mexican visa come through in time for the 2008 guadalajara trannie expo in april.