christmas new orleans style

December 21 2007


i’m off to new orleans for christmas.

please don’t rob my house while i’m gone. i have no cash or jewels laying about anyway. but there are 20 lbs. of purina one, chicken flavor, in the pantry if you’re really hungry.

i don’t have a laptop. and my mother doesn’t own a computer even though she inadvertently came up with the name for this blog.

so no blog entries from me for a while.

for 2008 i wish all of yall, health, happiness and a cheaper, faster iphone.

i’m probably turning ‘mac’ this coming year, the chinese year of the rat. can’t wait.

it’s a little early, but


my fucking condo is still for sale in new orleans.

here’s a deal for all my ‘distort the info’ readers:

close on my house before 01/30/08 and get a 10% rebate on the purchase price.

i’m not kidding. i’ll give you the money in new $100 bills so you can lay them out on your bed and roll around in them like demi moore in ‘indecent proposal’.


pandering to the kidz

December 20 2007

to expand my reader demographic, here’s a multipurpose video.

it’s mash-up of dolly parton’s cover of ‘stairway to heaven’ by led zeppelin with cameos by pat benetar and the beastie boys, among others. the visuals seem arbitrary. so feel free to play the video in a minimized window.

dolly’s bluegrass period is worthy of investigating… much, much better than her pop stuff.

kudos to dj earworm.

UNCA radio should be doing this kind of shit.


…and a diet coke, please.

December 19 2007

to me it seems i’ve been complaining a lot.

this is an attempt to see the brighter side of life in asheville.

there are lots of good restaurants here, a mix of healthy, friendly places to fight the onslaught of chain restaurants.

so far, i’ve really enjoyed:

early girl eatery
india garden
thai basil

so as not to appear to be a representative of the local restaurant association, let me tell you where not to go:

laughing seed cafe

in my humble opinion, it was an overrated disappointment. i went twice to make sure it wasn’t a fluke on the first visit. maybe the reason their bar area is so big is because drunken people won’t notice how ‘blah’ the food is. i’d rather get something at the salad bar at greenlife and donate the difference in price to charity.

i know it’s a popular place. please don’t hurt me.

but, trust.

separated at birth

December 18 2007



i’m not implying nothing. i’m just saying they look alike.

that’s all.

please don’t hurt me.

don’t tread on them

December 17 2007


don’t fuck with the avett brothers !


that’s the second most important lesson i’ve learned about living peacefully among the locals of WNC.

the most important lesson is not to go to ingle’s between 5pm to 6:30pm on a weekday. the first and last time i did that it took 45 minutes in line to buy 3 items. people started to get testy; itching for a fight.

i’d rather pay CVS prices.

i complained about the lack of musical options on local radio. the original visuals (which i have since revised), not the written part, on the post may have implied that the avetts were part of the problem. let’s be clear. i did NOT write any such thing.

i heard grumblings of torches and being tied up like a pig for slaughter if i even look at the avetts funny; let alone question their sanctity.

again, i didn’t say nothin’ ’bout them boys.

please don’t hurt me.


“It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

for a wide variety of social issues, this idea is the most important role of government.



here’s a miscellaneous asheville observation:

employees at the asheville barnes and noble are allowed to work in crocs.

my favorite new phrase

December 15 2007


i didn’t think of it. neither did the guy who said it to me.

maybe it’s just the alliteration, not the subtext.

here it is:

“everything i resisted has persisted”