gutterpuck trannie

November 20 2007


i’m not sayin’ living in the city is better than living in the country. i’m just saying it’s different.

in manhattan, one of my neighborhood homeless people was a trannie. but a very specific kind of trannie. she was a goth, marilyn manson, trent renzor-type trannsexual homeless person. she was not just an older gutterpuck. no, she was the prerequisite koo-koo as well… muttering to herself, applying kohl in a 3-inch radius around her eyes, carrying all her stuff in a laundry cart, sleeping over a subway grate kinda koo-koo.

…oh, and a fetish latex corset. she always wore her fetish latex corset.

i have not seen her equivalent in asheville yet. but i did see something today that i have not witnessed in my life journey so far.

the cashier at the asheville airport parking lot has a pet cat set-up outside her booth.

the cat has a blanket and food bowl in front of the cashier’s window as you pull up to pay for parking. it’s a black cat with white paws. as i approached the booth, the cat got up from the driveway, stretched, and sauntered over to her bed. i may be exaggerating the cat’s bitchiness, but she seemed genuinely perturbed that i made her move.

of course, the cashier was oblivious that any of this might be considered unusual. she just took my $2 and asked if i needed a receipt. since a goal of living here is not to upset the locals, i just said, ‘no, thanks’ and drove away without mentioning the cat.

as you fellow ashevilleans fly home for the holidays, keep a lookout for the cashier’s cat. i’m sure running over a cat during kwanzaa is not kosher.

oh, and if you find out the cat’s name, please let me know. i’m curious.



yes, i know the typical spelling is ‘tranny,’ but i think ‘trannie’ is more feminine. that’s the point, right?

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